A Good Cry
by Cascore
Summary: Mario and Bowser have a lot of pent-up emotional energy, and they both learn of a great way to let it all out.
1. Mario's Stress

**Cascore's Note: Hello everyone, and welcome to a short fanfiction I suddenly thought of on my walk back from school. It's based off a joke I heard from Dane Cook, and I thought it'd be fun to make a story about the joke involving Mario and Bowser, possibly two of the most stressed arch-enemies in video game history (in my opinion). So please, read on, and I hope you enjoy the story.**

**Disclaimer: Characters and locations used for this story are property of Nintendo, and the underlying joke is property of Dane Cook.**

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**"Mario's Stress"**

It was another lazy day at the Mario Brothers household. The birds were chirping peacefully, the skies were blue as ever, and everything worked perfectly in tune to make the day that much more relaxing.

Luigi had just finished setting out breakfast, a feast of scrambled eggs, french toast, bacon, sausage, sliced mushrooms, orange juice, and milk. The meal was spanned out over the circular wooden table within the kitchen, and both brothers sat down on either side, ready to down the food before them.

Neither had bothered to change out of their pajamas and night caps yet, as the morning was still new and they didn't plan to go into town for a few hours. Mario wore a red and white striped pajama suit with a red cap while Luigi wore a similar suit, but with green instead.

"Man Luigi, you're getting pretty good at cooking," Mario complimented, chowing down on his french toast eagerly.

"Thanks bro," Luigi said happily, holding off on biting a piece of the bacon. "I threw in some cinnamon for the toast today; thought it might add an extra little kick to it."

"It definitely did," Mario replied, his mouth almost full with toast. He took the fork he was holding and pointed it at the container of maple syrup near Luigi. "Could you pass the syrup please?"

"Sure," Luigi said, setting his bacon down after taking a bite of it. He reached over to the syrup and handed it across the table to Mario.

"Thanks," Mario said, taking the syrup eagerly and drowning his toast with it. He then took another bite of the newly covered toast and dropped his fork immediately. "This syrup rocks!"

"Really?" Luigi said, reaching for the syrup and taking a look at it. "Oh yeah, I remember mixing a little bit of Jammin' Jelly in here."

"Ah, no wonder it tastes so good," Mario commented. He soon stopped to think for a second before raising an eyebrow at his brother. "Wait a minute, where'd you get Jammin' Jelly from? That stuff's not easy to find."

"I had to look around," Luigi said nonchalantly, taking a bite of his scrambled eggs. "I really wanted to experiment with some, but it took a few days to track down someone who sold them by the jar."

"How much was it?" Mario asked, looking back at his food as he introduced a bit of bacon to his mouth. Luigi swallowed roughly, banged a fist against his chest, and coughed a little.

"Uh..." he said, looking reluctant to answer. This caught Mario's attention, who soon looked back at Luigi, becoming a bit concerned.

"How much was it Luigi?" he asked more seriously. Luigi cleared his throat and looked at the table, rather ashamed.

"Um...five..." he began slowly. Mario leaned in a little, waiting for his answer eagerly.

"Five...coins?" Mario said, trying to finish Luigi's sentence. He hoped he was right, but Luigi shook his head slowly. "Five...hundred?" Mario guessed again. Luigi looked up at his brother, appearing even more ashamed than before. Mario stood up from his seat, partially leaning over the table toward his brother, looking anxious and angry at the same time. "How much did you pay Luigi?" Mario asked again, almost yelling.

"Five...thousand coins," Luigi muttered, dropping his head, waiting for the verbal thrashing that was sure to come.

Mario smacked an open palm on the table, causing the contents on top to jump and shake slightly.

"Five thousand coins!?" Mario yelled, unable to believe his ears. "You seriously spent five thousand coins on a jar of Jammin' Jelly just to experiment with!? Ugh, I can't believe this!"

He let out a sigh to calm himself down a bit. Luigi already knew he didn't make the best decision by purchasing the jelly, and Mario really couldn't stay angry with his brother, not after everything they'd been through together. Soon, Mario made himself believe the five thousands coins wasn't a big deal, and soon he sat back down.

"It's okay Luigi," he sighed, returning to his meal. "We can always make the money back." Luigi looked back at his brother, still holding his look of shame.

"I'm really sorry bro," he apologized. Mario simply waved a hand, dismissing the issue in an instant.

–

As the day wore on, dark clouds slowly rolled in. Luigi had just finished drying the laundry on the line in the front yard as the first drop of rain fell and struck him on the nose. Quickly folding the load of clothes into his laundry basket, he hurried indoors before the rain got worse.

It was noon, and the brothers had changed into their everyday clothes, planning to go into town soon. However, the oncoming rain stood as a possible hindrance to the trip. Mario gazed out the window as Luigi placed their clothes in the proper drawers of their dresser.

"Looks like we might not be going to town today," Mario said, catching his brother's attention. Luigi tucked away one more shirt before taking a break and joining his brother at the window.

"Yeah, it's coming down pretty hard out there," he commented as the rain grew much heavier than it was just minutes ago. Luigi went back to finish up his chore. "Peach can wait another day for us to come by. I'm sure she'll understand we couldn't visit today."

Barely a second passed after Luigi made the statement that Mario spotted a figure approaching the household from the air. It looked to be a yellow-shelled Parakoopa, wearing a leather helmet with a pair of goggles built in. It carried a mail bag at its side, attached to it by a strap reaching around its shoulder. Mario immediately recognized it to be Parakarry.

Parakarry landed on the front patio and knocked on the door three times. Luigi looked over as Mario took a step to the side and opened the door for the mail carrier.

"Hello Mario," Parakarry said brightly, despite being drenched with rainwater.

"Hey Parakarry," Mario said, stepping to the side. "Come on in."

Parakarry stepped into the house, resting his wet work shoes on the welcome mat within to avoid getting the floor wet. "Thank you Mario, I appreciate it." He turned and closed the door behind him softly.

"I came by today to give you this letter from Toadsworth," Parakarry said, reaching into his mail bag and retrieving the letter.

"Oh great, that can't be good," Luigi said, finishing up his chore and joining the two at the door as Parakarry gave the letter to Mario. He opened it up and began reading silently. "What's it say bro?" Luigi asked, looking over to view the letter as best he could.

"Nothing much," Mario said, having read through it already. He folded the letter back up and replaced it in the envelope. "It just says that the dinner in the castle has to be postponed. That's about it."

"Ah, that reminds me, there's a second part to that letter," Parakarry mentioned, digging in his bag once more. Mario raised an eyebrow at him.

"A second part?" he asked as Parakarry handed him the new letter. He opened it up and read through it silently, Luigi looking over to get a view of it as well. Both brothers sighed at once, and Mario folded and replaced the letter back into its envelope. "Should have expected that," Mario muttered, slightly irritated. "The dinner's postponed because Bowser kidnapped Peach again."

"That's great," Luigi said sarcastically.

"That Princess Peach sure does get kidnapped often doesn't she?" Parakarry said, smiling and chuckling nervously. "You'd think that, by now, the folks up in the castle would have set up some kind of defensive measures to better prevent that from happening."

"Yeah, well...it keeps things interesting I guess," Mario said unconvincingly. "Thanks for bringing us the message Parakarry, especially in weather like this."

"Well, as the motto goes, 'Rain, sleet, snow or hail, we deliver what you mail!'" Parakarry recited happily. "With that, I should probably head back out. It was nice seeing you two again."

"Ditto," Luigi said.

"Take care Parakarry," Mario said.

Parakarry opened the door and stepped out quickly, closing it behind him as soon as he was through it. Once Parakarry was gone, Mario turned and unceremoniously dropped the letters onto the dining table with a deep sigh. He then fell into one of the chairs and rested his head on a closed fist. Luigi noted his brother's bad mood and went to his side.

"You alright bro?" he asked, pulling the chair from the opposite side of the table next to Mario. Mario glanced at him from the side of his eye and let out another sigh.

"I'm just starting to get a little sick of it, you know?" he said, looking at the table instead of Luigi. "I mean, this happens all the time. Bowser kidnaps Peach, I have to go rescue her, I end up defeating Bowser, I get about a month off, then it happens all over again. It's just getting a little old, and it's stressful. It's not like Bowser makes it easy for me."

Luigi desperately wanted to argue the fact that they both work together to rescue Peach, but he held his tongue, knowing that it was usually Mario that actually did the bulk of the work most of the time. He also didn't want to upset his brother any more, especially after the confession that morning.

"This has been a slow month for us as far as work, we don't have very much money left...apparently," Mario said, verbally stabbing Luigi through the heart. Luigi was rather surprised he'd be so malicious at the moment as to bring that point up again. "And now I need to go off and rescue Peach yet again. It just makes me want to..."

"Cry?" Luigi said, attempting to finish Mario's sentence. Mario looked over at him rather astonished for a moment before shaking his head quickly.

"Where did that—no I don't want to cry," Mario said quickly, and rather defensively. Luigi merely shrugged.

"There's no shame in crying bro," Luigi said simply. "It's a good emotional release really. I cry every time I feel overwhelmed and I always feel a lot better afterwards." Mario didn't have trouble believing him; Luigi's been known to be a bit of a crybaby. But his words did spark a bit of interest in him.

"Sometimes, all you really need is a good cry," Luigi finished up, standing from his seat and replacing it at its previous position. He then went into the bedroom to continue reading a book he'd been working through for the past few weeks.

Mario sat at the table for a few minutes, contemplating Luigi's speech. Maybe his little brother was right. Maybe a good cry was all he needed to just let all his feelings out.

He got up and walked over to the window next to the front door and gazed out once again. The rain was coming down so thick that he could barely see into the front yard. He leaned against the sill and watched it, thinking about letting himself break down and cry. Just once. To try it out.

"Nah, not right now," he muttered to himself. "Maybe one day though. One day, I'll just let it all out."


	2. Bowser's Lost Will

**"Bowser's Lost Will"**

Bowser emerged from the furnished, rather cushy chamber in which he kept Peach during his operations. Koopatrol guards quickly moved into place in front of the door to secure the area as Bowser lazily approached Kammy Koopa, the leader of his Magikoopa division and a close personal friend of his.

The old Magikoopa gazed at Bowser from behind her sunglasses and frowned upon inspecting her lord's right cheek. It bore a nasty cut, as if Bowser had been slashed with a knife of some sort.

"What happened Your Ugliness?" she asked, concerned. Bowser sighed, walking by her without looking at her.

"She slapped me," he muttered. "Again." Kammy turned to walk beside Bowser as he climbed a flight of stairs that led to a door, behind which was a hallway filled with Koopatrol guards, talking casually as they waited for their next shift. The pair went through the door, and, after being saluted by every Koopa in the hall, continued their conversation.

"Looks like she got you pretty good that time," Kammy commented.

"Yeah, she scratched me," Bowser said, sounding utterly uninterested. "No idea how. She was wearing her gloves."

"The girl's got some power," Kammy muttered, undoubtedly a bit impressed. Bowser agreed silently as they went through another door at the end of the hallway. This time, the door led to the throne room, where two Koopatrols guarded the door and another two guarded the throne.

The pair approached the throne in silence and Bowser dropped himself into it, letting out a sigh as he did so.

"You, get me some grapes," Bowser commanded the guard to his left. "The green ones."

"Yes Sire," the Koopatrol obeyed loyally, hurrying to the castle kitchen to fetch Bowser his requested nourishment. Kammy noted Bowser's lack of energy and decided to press him with questions.

"Lord Bowser," she began, standing next to Bowser on his right, making the Koopatrol standing there to move to the side a step. "Are you alright? You don't look so well."

"No, I'm not alright," Bowser admitted bluntly. "I'm sick of this whole deal. I don't even know why I bother trying anymore."

"Wanna talk about it?" Kammy asked, a little too excitedly, considering Bowser's foul mood. She rarely got the chance to hear Bowser's thoughts however, so she was eager to listen to him open up.

Bowser remained silent for a moment, then decided he may as well impart his thoughts.

"I've been trying to win Peach over for years now Kammy," Bowser began with a sigh. "Sure, kidnapping her isn't exactly the best way to make a move, but don't I always make her stay with me as pleasant as possible? I give her everything she asks for, I make sure she's taken care of, she even has a better room than me. But no matter what I do, she just rejects me. I don't know why I bother trying anymore."

"Well Lord Bowser, love is a rather powerful driving force," Kammy commented. "When you have such strong feelings for someone, it's hard to let go, even if you're rejected multiple times."

"That's the thing; I don't think I even feel that way about her anymore," Bowser said, adjusting himself in his throne uncomfortably. He'd forgotten he had guards in the room with him and he was opening himself up like this. He promised himself that if he heard any of them speaking of this to others, he'd burn them to a crisp on sight. "I don't even know why I bothered kidnapping her again. Now I'm just going to have to set up a pointless, complicated series of puzzles for Mario to figure out, which he'll do, and then he'll reach me and we'll fight and I'll lose, again."

The Koopatrol sent to retrieve the grapes returned, carrying them in a rather large bowl. He kneeled before Bowser, holding the bowl up with both hands as he bowed his head. Bowser took the bowl and immediately began popping grapes into his massive mouth. The Koopatrol stood back up and replaced himself to Bowser's left.

"It's just a pain Kammy," Bowser continued as he chewed on the grapes. "I almost want to give her back and surrender right now."

"What about the Mushroom Kingdom my Lord?" Kammy asked, now leaning on the arm rest of the throne. "I thought you wanted to rule over it someday."

"What's the point if Peach isn't by my side?" Bowser muttered, angrily ripping almost all the grapes off the stem at once and shoving them in his mouth. "I don't care about ruling anything if I can't do it with her."

He realized he was finished with the grapes already and simply tossed the bowl over his shoulder, causing it to fly and shatter against the wall behind his throne. He balled a fist and rested his head on it, looking upset.

"I swear Kammy, sometimes I just want to..." Bowser trailed off, not knowing exactly how he was going to finish the sentence.

"Cry?" Kammy suggested. Bowser lifted his head and shot an odd glance at Kammy.

"What?" he said, surprised by the mere mention of crying. "Why would I, Lord Bowser, King Koopa, leader of an entire race of beings on this planet, do something as...immature and girly as cry? Real men don't cry."

"I hate to disagree with you Lord Bowser, but I think that men who cry are the strongest personally," Kammy said, turning away from Bowser and stepping in front of him to face him full on. "You know Prince Mush from the Glitz Pit?"

"The former champion?" Bowser asked. Kammy nodded.

"It was openly known that Prince Mush cried before matches he felt unsure about," Kammy informed. "He admitted that he cried to the press and wasn't ashamed about it at all. As a matter of fact, he even said it helped him win the title match the first time he tried because crying released all the stress from his body, so he could focus more."

"Really?" Bowser muttered, rubbing his chin. He could hardly believe it, but he was actually considering giving this crying thing a shot. It might actually help him out.

"By the way Lord Bowser, do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?" Kammy asked out of nowhere. Bowser didn't even think about the randomness of the question before answering.

"Oh yeah, I love grilled cheese," he answered with a slight smile. Kammy smiled as well.

"Good, because I'm planning a picnic soon, and grilled cheese is the theme," she explained. "Now, if you'll excuse me Lord Bowser, I must be off to make the preparations."

With that, Kammy exited the throne room, leaving Bowser to wonder how grilled cheese could be a theme for a picnic. Before he could come up with an answer though, the Koopatrol on his right spoke up.

"Your Lordliness," he began reluctantly. "If it helps at all...I cry sometimes too. It really does release a lot of tension."

"Shut up peon, nobody cares," Bowser spat. "Go get me another bowl of grapes," he added. The Koopatrol hurried away to the kitchen, regretting speaking up. However, the Koopa's comment did bring Bowser's mind back to the idea.

Reflecting on it, he decided he'd give it a try. Not right then and there of course, probably not even that day, or that week. But he decided that, at some point, he'd let himself break down and just cry to his heart's content. For the moment though, he would be enjoying his second batch of grapes, which he ate a bit slower than the last bowl.


	3. The Good Cry

**"The Good Cry"**

Mario and Luigi approached the throne room of Bowser's castle. Their adventure this time around didn't take nearly as long as it normally did, for Bowser didn't seem motivated at all about throwing obstacles in their way. In fact, the brothers barely had to do much more than locate Bowser's castle, dispatch a few Koopas, and reach his throne room. No puzzles, no collection of seemingly-unrelated items, nothing, just a simple, straightforward walk.

"Well, Bowser's really slipping isn't he?" Luigi commented as Mario slowly pushed open one of the large double doors.

"Can't complain about that," Mario said as he opened the door far enough for himself and Luigi to enter.

Surprisingly, or not-so-surprisingly considering the lack of motivation Bowser put into his plans this time around, the brothers weren't met with any kind of resistance upon entering the throne room. They would have been kept alert, but Bowser and Kammy Koopa made themselves openly visible, simply located at the throne at the end of the room.

In anticipation of the brothers' arrival, Bowser went through the normal ritual of locking Peach away in a steel cage behind his throne. She looked upset as usual to be in such a position, but Bowser looked completely uninterested in keeping her for himself.

"So...Mario," Bowser said, standing up from his throne slowly and approaching the brothers sluggishly. He seemed to only just realize Luigi was there too and soon added, "Oh and uh...you. Mario's...butler or something."

"Brother," Luigi corrected.

"Really?" Bowser said, stopping suddenly. He turned to Kammy with an eyebrow raised. "Did you know Mario had a brother?"

"I had no idea," Kammy answered. "I don't think I've ever seen that guy before actually."

"Huh..." Bowser muttered. He soon shrugged it off and continued his approach. "Anyway, I assume you're here for the princess."

"We're certainly not here to have a grilled cheese sandwich themed picnic with you," Mario answered, folding his arms.

"Mmm, grilled cheese, that sounds good right now," Luigi mentioned, whispering to Mario.

"Actually, it kinda does," Mario agreed. Kammy scoffed.

"Humph, too bad, because I'm planning a grilled cheese themed picnic for tomorrow afternoon," she said with an evil smile.

"Oh, can we come?" Luigi asked excitedly.

"No," Kammy answered flatly. Luigi adopted a disappointed look on his face. Peach piped up, interjecting into the conversation.

"Guys, remember I'm trapped back here, just so you know," she called. "So, like...you know, whenever..."

"Right, right," Mario muttered, stepping forward towards Bowser, who stepped forward as well. "So, ready to do this?"

"Ready as ever," Bowser responded, though he sounded as if he were about to let out a sigh as he spoke. Without noticing, Bowser let out a small sniffle and a tear began to escape his eye. Once he realized this, he quickly turned away and wiped the tear furiously.

"Whoa, was that...were you about to cry?" Mario asked, trying to see around Bowser to catch a glimpse of his face.

"No," Bowser responded, but with a shaky voice that indicated he was about to break down at any moment. "I'm King Bowser, the Lord of Evil, why would I ever cry?"

Bowser continued wiping his face, and let another sniffle escape. It was now obvious he was trying to keep himself from breaking down, but Mario soon came around to Bowser's front. Bowser lifted his watery eyes to look down at him. Mario seemed to be giving him a look of understand. Soon, Mario whispered to him quietly.

"Hey, look, Bowser," he began quietly. "If you uh...you know, if you need to cry, it's...it's completely fine." Bowser sniffled a bit before responded.

"Really?" he said with a small voice, despite his massive, deep tone. Mario could begin to feel himself welling up with tears as well.

"Yeah man," he said, putting a hand under his nose to keep from sniffling. At the same time however, his eyes were watering up as well. "I'd uh...I'd completely understand."

"The heck are they doing over there?" Luigi asked, scratching his hair underneath his cap. Kammy simply shrugged and shook her head.

Soon, Bowser could be seen doubling over and falling to the side, crying openly and loudly, and Mario was joining him nearby, but he remained standing, hunched over and wiping his face again and again as he cried. All three of the others in the room simply watched them, rather astounded at the sight.

"They're...crying?" Peach said, unable to believe her eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, we're crying!" Mario yelled dramatically as he dropped to his knees. "We're crying and it feels so goo-oo-oood!"

"I can't believe...how much...this is helpiiiiiing!" Bowser cried out as he curled up into a fetal position on his side.

Both Luigi and Kammy felt guilty for this, as they'd both mentioned that crying was a great way to let out emotions. Neither of them expected the crying to begin at such a pivotal moment however. Peach simply couldn't believe her eyes.

"All these years of saving the priiiiinceeeeessss!" Mario exclaimed as he hunched over on the ground. "Jumping and hammering and solving puuuuuuzzlllllles! I'm so sick of it!"

"All these years of setting up traps, planning tricky worlds, and getting beaten up by Mario over a girl that doesn't even like meeeeeee!" Bowser joined. "I can't stand it anymore!"

"And Luigi, who may as well be my butler, because he's great at household stuff, but utterly useless in adventuu-u-uuuures!" Mario spoke up once more.

"Hey, I resent that...and thank you," Luigi stated quietly, though he knew he wasn't the greatest adventuring companion in the world, but he agreed he was a great home keeper.

"And all my lackeys are useless, and all my kids, that are apparently mine though I have no idea who the mother is, are bratty, and the only woman in my life that can tolerate me is an old haaaaaag!" Bowser yelled, pounding on the floor softly after each point.

"Well that's not very nice..." Kammy commented, folding her arms in a huff.

"And why do I always have to save Peach anyway?" Mario questioned, sitting up, but tears still flowing freely. "I don't even like her. What happened to Pauline?"

"I don't even know why I keep kidnapping her," Bowser responded, sitting up as well. "She's always harsh to me and, now that I look at her, I don't even know what I found so appealing about her."

"Well..." Peach muttered, placing her hands on her hips.

Mario and Bowser continued to freely cry for a little while longer before they started to gather themselves together. Faces drenched, eyes red, and all others in the room equally offended by what they said during the session, the two turned to each other.

"Bowser, why do we keep doing this if we both hate it so much?" Mario asked, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

"I don't know Mario, I just don't know," Bowser replied, wiping his nose. "I do know one thing though."

"And what's that?" Mario asked, his eyes finally becoming dry.

"That cry was fantastic, and I feel so much better now," Bowser admitting, letting a smile occupy his lips. Mario smiled as well and nodded.

"It sure was, and I'm feeling a lot better too," Mario agreed.

"Well, I'm glad some people are," Luigi muttered audibly, hunched over on the ground, poking at his boots.

"So what shall we do now Your Lordliness?" Kammy asked. "Shall we release the princess?" Peach's face brightened instantly at the mention of being set free. But Bowser shook his head.

"What are you, nuts, you old hag?" Bowser growled. "I can't let Mario have Peach. She's the whole reason behind my aspirations in life." Peach's face dimmed.

"But...you just put her down like crazy," Kammy said, feeling confused.

"And?" Bowser responded. "I just had the greatest cry ever, I'm feeling good as new. And that means I'm willing to fight for her if I have to."

"What about you Mario?" Luigi asked, standing up once more. "Still wanna rescue her?"

"You better!" Peach threatened, despite her compromising situation. Mario simply shrugged.

"I dunno Luigi, I'm starting to feel more inclined to Pauline now that I remember her," Mario admitted. "She's only gotten kidnapped, what, twice? That's a lot better than Peach's record."

"Mario, I swear, if you leave me here-" Peach began, but Mario soon cut her off.

"But, Peach is the princess of the land we live in, and everyone knows this place would be a wreck if we actually let the king run the place," Mario said. "So, yeah, let's do this!"

"Bring it on!" Bowser challenged. The two set themselves into battle positions, stared each other down for a short while, then commenced their battle for the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Meanwhile, Luigi and Kammy stood by, wondering what exactly they just experienced.

"So...I guess that was completely pointless," Luigi said, taking a seat to watch the fight before him.

"Well, we have learned a few things about them," Kammy said.

"Yeah...and at least they feel better," Luigi added.

The battle raged on in the middle of the throne room, to determine whether or not Princess Peach would be able to return to her throne in the castle of the Mushroom Kingdom. The result of the battle was expected, but at least the battling parties let themselves pour out their thoughts and feelings, allowing them to have a fresh outlook on life, and with that, a fresh continuation of adventures to be held in the future.

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**Cascore's Note: And that, as they say, is that. I hope you enjoyed the story!**


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